Rearview mirror

7 months and a puppy later. This thing called retirement is pretty freeing...that is it if you surrender to the quiet. Learning to be still is no small task. All of my life I have had a noisy and active mind. Now I wish to Be Still. This starts with learning to surround myself with loving people. Not as easy as it sounds. So many broken and lost people..especially family. I have been wearing blinders too long about those in my life who are unable for a myriad of reasons to be loving. I spent so much time trying to please them and fix their problems. But I have come to believe and accept that my shoring them up has trapped them as much as it has trapped me. So it is time, no more rationalizations,  I am becoming a minimalist about my stuff, expectations and relations. I know I must let go. Let go of being the one who always comes to the rescue. I was never really equipped to do this then or now. Not sure everyone will understand. We are such creatures of habit with a deep underlying fear. Fear of change, being alone and wanting to control the uncontrollable. That said I have to go.... I am taking the leap into an unknown journey. Not sure where it will lead but I am not longer looking in my rearview mirror....because that is not where I am going.